i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
