Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
