i just had sex bonerless
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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