I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize