He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
