wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
