It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why can't burritos get me drunk
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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