What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
