dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
