i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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