I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
