I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
