A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
