I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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