let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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