you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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