don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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