i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
