I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
