I wish i was in the wii world.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
