Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
