you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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