either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As shirtless as possible
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize