Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
