Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
