Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize