peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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