I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
