It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Your mouth is God's brothel.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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