How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
