i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
