he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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