There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Quick, to the slutcave!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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