With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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