so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
