Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
