dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
