Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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