you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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