Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
