Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
