wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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