My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
