even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
