I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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