You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize