I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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