Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well you can't waste a boner
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
