Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will be naked everywhere
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize