is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
