Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
