youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
