I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
