so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
