i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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