My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
