it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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