I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
