I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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