If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
