I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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