me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if only i could text you this smell
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
