If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
