I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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