I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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