On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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