I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
