did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
