She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
