I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sober January is a disaster.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
