I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We talked him into tasing himself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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