she woke up with a sticky ear
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
