You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
