Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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