Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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