Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
